Lindsay Stallones over at Evangelical Outpost has posted a meditation pretty much guaranteed to bring us all down. In We Need a Darker Christmas, she notes that the true Christmas story is not a merry and bright Claymation special:
There are people all around us who haven’t learned to pretend as well as we have. They are the artists and poets. They can’t look away from what we refuse to look at, the overwhelming awfulness of this existence. Their words are hard to hear, and they threaten our carefully constructed worlds of nice and happy. We want to sing “I’ll be home for Christmas” with Bing Crosby and ignore the millions who will mourn when loved ones don’t come home this year. We want to watch Disney’s latest nature adventure with anthropomorphized penguins, but don’t want to think about the fact that the polar bear cubs will starve to death if they don’t eat the cute seal pups. We love to quote John the Baptist when he proclaims the coming of Christ, but we end the story long before his grisly, senseless death. We wrap ourselves in the happy part of the story and try to ignore the rest.
It's a well-reasoned piece. It reminded me especially that, in spite of constant appeals, in sermons and advertisements, to the joys of gathering with family and friends for the holidays, more people every year (due to societal change, personal choice, and plain misadventure) actually spend the holiday alone, longing for the Bedford Falls Christmas they may or may not remember from their own childhoods.
I am, in fact, one of those people this year. This isn't unusual for me. My extended family will be gathering on a later date, and I have no nuclear family of my own. No doubt there are people I know who'd be happy to invite me to join their own celebrations, but honestly I'd rather they didn't. I suffer from a shyness disorder that makes gatherings including strangers (or even certain acquaintances) extremely stressful. In Dickensian terms, given the choice between attending Nephew Fred's party and sharing the punch with a room full of people, most of whom I've never met before, and huddling in my chamber in the dark, next to the fire, eating my solitary bowl of gruel, I'd opt for the gruel most nights.
But it occurs to me that my membership in this burgeoning demographic of Christmas solitaries qualifies me, perhaps, to speak words of comfort to others of my tribe. So this is for you, Misfit Toy, bench-sitter at the Reindeer Games. Not many writers will address you this season, but I will.
When I go to the gospels and look for a lonely person in the biblical Christmas story, someone people like us can identify with, I find… nothing much. Joseph and Mary were away from home, but they had each other, and it was Joseph's ancestral town, so there were likely relatives (there's some evidence that the manger may have actually been located in a sort of multi-purpose room, adaptable for sheltering animals or guests as the need arose, attached to the house of a relation). The shepherds seem to have been gathered in a group when the angels appeared to them. The Wise Men were a company of unspecified number, and probably showed up months later anyway.
But wait. There's more to the story. In the very same chapter in which Luke penned his peerless account of the nativity (Luke 2, if you didn't learn it in Sunday School), you can read on and find the story of what happened just eight days later, when Joseph and Mary observed the Law by taking the Baby to nearby Jerusalem, to have him circumcised. There we read of two apparently solitary people who immediately recognized the promised Messiah, and found complete spiritual fulfillment in Him.
“Now there was a man in Jerusalem called Simeon, who was righteous and devout. He was waiting for the consolation of Israel, and the Holy Spirit was upon him. It had been revealed to him by the Holy Spirit that he would not die before he had seen the Lord's Christ.”
We traditionally think of Simeon as an old man, although the text doesn't actually say that. I think it's a fair surmise, though, since his response suggests he'd been waiting for just one thing, and was otherwise ready to die:
“Sovereign Lord, as you have promised,you now dismiss your servant in peace. For my eyes have seen your salvation, which you have prepared before the sight of all people, a light for revelation to the Gentiles and for the glory of your people Israel.”
We are told, further, of a woman named Anna, who is specifically described as “very old; she had lived with her husband seven years after her marriage, and then was a widow until she was eighty-four. She never left the temple but worshiped night and day, fasting and praying. Coming up to them at that very moment, she gave thanks to God and spoke about the child to all who were looking forward to the redemption of Jerusalem.”
What we have here is a man, probably old, who had been waiting a long time for something that never seemed to show up.
And we have a woman who'd been a widow for more than forty years.
These are my kind of people.
They weren't there for the party at the stable. They had to wait a few days. For some reason, God doesn't give everyone their Christmas gifts at once. Some people have to wait a while. He doesn't explain why.
But the gift comes, according to His schedule, not ours. If you're not a shepherd or a wise man, you may be a Simeon or an Anna.
They thought it was worth the wait. Don't give up.
And merry Christmas.
Lars Walker is the author of several fantasy novels, the latest of which is West Oversea.











A pointed, but may I say pointless article, as the author is heavy on melancholy and light on remedy. So here is mine. Lars, I share your dislike for hanging out with people I don’t know well. But I live 2,000 miles from home, and work on Christmas Eve and Day. So going home for Christmas isn’t an option. Instead, I am inviting over coworkers in the same situation, but who are worse off than I am because they are single, to share Christmas dinner with my wife and I. This does two things. One, it is good for someone else, and two, it forces me to prepare a better holiday meal than I might otherwise, instead of allowing the holiday to pass without notice as I did last year to avoid the discomfort.
I like this. It reminded me of an article at Inside Catholic from not too far back that also may resonate with you:
http://www.insidecatholic.com/feature/the-secret-disciples.html
Oops. Not to Jerusalem just for circumcision. That was done locally, 8 days later. To Jerusalem 40 days later to (either) purify Mary after childbirth or redeem the first-born with a sacrifice. Two strangely unnecessary things, by the way.
I wanted to offer a link to my Christmas Eve column:
http://www.pressherald.com/opinion/its-an-old-tale-but-she-who-told-it-first-knows-it-is-ever-new_2010-12-24.html
Thanks, Michael, for the link to your column. A very nice piece of writing, not maudlin; true but understated. Again, thanks.
If Lars’ post is “pointless”, then he’s in good company, as apparently John Milton, when his sight was failing and he could not use his talent of writing (until he learned to compose, memorize, and dictate extremely long passages), experienced some of that same need to wait, and his poem about it doesn’t offer some “solution” either:
“When I consider how my light is spent”
by John Milton
When I consider how my light is spent,
Ere half my days, in this dark world and wide,
And that one talent which is death to hide
Lodged with me useless, though my soul more bent
To serve therewith my Maker, and present
My true account, lest He returning chide,
“Doth God exact day-labour, light denied?”
I fondly ask; But patience, to prevent
That murmur, soon replies “God doth not need
Either man’s work or his own gifts. Who best
Bear His mild yoke, they serve Him best. His state
Is kingly: thousands at His bidding speed
And post o’er land and ocean without rest;
They also serve who only stand and wait.”
>>There are people all around us who haven’t learned to pretend as well as we have. They are the artists and poets.
I can’t imagine a group of people less understanding of the nature of reality than modern artists and poets.
Comment deleted for insulting language.
Lars post was excellent, as was the piece by Milton. It was the article at evengelical outpost I found lacking.
A very thoughtful post. Thanks.
The author makes the mistake of thinking the dark things are the “real” things and dark consequences (eg, of the Baptist’s preaching) are the ultimate consequences. She also makes lofty and sweeping generalizations about other Christians’ interior lives, emotions, and motivations that put the worst possible face on their actions.
This game gets old fast, because, of course, one can turn around and do the same in return, with bells on.
Eg,
“The Watchers and the Scornful Ones condemn the cultural trappings of Christmas as the output of a vast Satanic mill.
“Where common souls pause in the grocery aisle to think wistfully of Christmas past as Bing croons about family and connection, the Watchers and the Scornful Ones snatch the occasion to snarl that many will not be home for Christmas–which is, of course, the actual point of the song.
“Into the happy scene of the family around the hearth come the Watchers and the Scornful Ones to dash hot chocolate from trembling lips and send the children empty away… because someone, somewhere, is exploited, lonely, and unloved.
“CS Lewis pointed out that heaven will not be hostage to hell, and that the world’s garden will not be made a dunghill to accommodate those who won’t abide the smell of roses. It is the duty of us all to be as happy and cheerful as may be; and if the solitary and superior run to and fro looking for arcana and statistics to clobber what happiness may be kindled, why, they have their reward.”
———–
Merry Christmas, and may you enjoy carols on the CD, if not on the spinet.
My apologies, Mr. Espe. As you addressed Lars directly, without reference to the article from which he quoted, it appeared as a criticism of Lars’ post.
Well put, Margaret. There may sometimes be wisdom in melancholy, but when it turns aggressive and judgemental it generally reveals a heart out of sorts with God. Someone once said that a preacher has a choice to make: he can either feed the sheep or beat the goats. It’s generally far better to feed the sheep.
I think that everyone who has had the experience of being raised in even a nominal Christian context, and than has wandered away, has, upon returning to the faith, felt that it was like rediscovering the spirit (small s) of Christmas. There is something about that bubbling joy that embraces even Rudolph, Frosty and all the rest of that hopelessly maudlin crew. We should all feel like Scrooge on Christmas morning– delerius with joy and profligate with love.
Christmas is often lonely and sad for everyone at some point in their life. The Bible is full of stories about selfish, dysfunctional families, intense struggle and rejection, and occasionally a festive and crazy Jewish holiday party to celebrate together. All of it is okay to discuss, paint and write about; even dwell on for no good reason as I like to do because that’s a normal reaction to pain. Why any need for pretending or not for anyone’s benefit but your own? Dickens is funny and those characters purposely overexagerated because we could be all of them at any time ourselves (except that Tiny Tim that we couldn’t criticize for his cheesiness due to his bum leg)which makes the tale more well liked than some needless morality dirge any day of the year. I’m sure Jesus would rather eat Menudo if such constant adoration were to always be so important to say and hear on his birthday since he never needed that anyway. Shopping is a spiritual experience for me this year since it’s all for me for once!
“We want to sing ‘I’ll be home for Christmas’ with Bing Crosby and ignore the millions who will mourn when loved ones don’t come home this year.”
Someone missed the last line – “if only in my dreams.”
God had told Simeon that he would not die until he had seen the Messiah. Imagine knowing that you would not die until you had seen the Son of God.